Drinks With Doug

The End of Days

Sunday's weather: Seasonably cool and cloudy, but not in keeping with the last several days of sun and warmth. No rain in sight, making next week dry. The maple out front is about 1/2 turned; all leaves edged in orange, yellow and red, with a few leaves keep crimson in the center.
Sunday's drink: water, as per keeping with the new regimen from personal trainer Will.
Sunday's link: To a new documentary made by my friends Simone and Rich. Labored over, more like, for several years of their lives. An enviable accomplishment - everyone take a peek.

Our friend - social friend - JJG threw a masquerade party last night. He's got a wicked cute house with a double-sized backyard, and the evening was, as always at his place, well done. Everyone enjoyed themselves.

Well, except not. Again and again the economic train-wreck that is our nation at present kept coming up. Unbidden - people were just volunteering comments, policy prescriptions, blame, and worry. Double up on the worry.

Mind you, this is a fancy Arlington house, on a lovely evening, sitting among friends in the landscaped yard amid the firepots and ponds, wine glasses in hand, lights strung overhead, all of us decked out in the adult game of masks. A decidedly privileged experience in a world of so much want; but the kind of privilege people have come not even to notice. Like the sky: always there, but rarely seen.

Last night I saw a level of nervousness in people that I've not seen before. The phrase "the end of days" came up on several separate occasions. One friend (who I don't think I should even tag with initials for privacy) who I care for greatly (though have fallen somewhat apart from in years) admitted to losing 20 pounds in two months - all because of worry of how bad things will - not may - get. This has been an unusually clear-eyed person; to hear such fright knocked me for a blow.

C has taken to using the subtitle of this blog - "...the capital of a crumbling empire" in conversations and I'm quite fine with that. I chose it for a reason: I have for sometime believed ours is a largely economic empire that is unspooling and we - we have neither the will to acknowledge this and disengage from it nor the ability to control it to our favor anymore.

OK, lah-dee-dah. But what the hell do I know, right? So when friends with more experience and wisdom of the world begin agreeing with me, without qualifications...well now I'm starting to worry.

This comes at a bad time. Like there's a good one. Nationwide people are just tweaked out by the election. Washington has a ginormous case of the jitters because whatever happens, this town will be a swirl of job-changing over the next year. And me? Well, 1 1/2 years in therapy have put me on a path of openness to change and emotion...neither of which can be controlled. Opening up to some change is often an invitation for change in other areas you didn't ask for it. Opening up to emotion means that they will arise as their own force - whether you want them to or not. After several years asleep I am a jangle of movement. I just can't predict where.

So you can see: not really loving the "end of days" meme. But it's coming up again and again.

Where are we at, and where are we headed?